How to help without shrinking someone
A guide for partners, family, friends and colleagues who want to show up well. No platitudes, no diagnosis required, and nothing that treats the person as a patient first.
For the Help Without Shrinking. 15 minutes to read. Private on this device; nothing is sent anywhere. Not clinical advice.
Who it is for
You are not the bipolar one. Someone you care about is, and you have already done the thing that made it worse (the hovering, the keys, the "have you taken your meds"). The guide is written by bipolar people for you, and the first step asks who you are to them so it can emphasise the right modules.
The short version
- Pick your role on the first screen. Partner, friend and manager get different emphasis; the core is the same.
- Read the modules in order the first time. They are short; the order is deliberate.
- Mark the three lines you recognise yourself in. Those are your work, not theirs.
- Ask the person which module they would want you to reread. Then reread it.
- Personalise and export if you want a PDF; the guide works without one.
A worked example
An invented reader, so the mechanics are visible. Your answers will differ.
A manager reads the colleague module and finds the line about not reinterpreting a good week as "fixed". The following month they stop asking "feeling better?" and start asking "what do you need this week?" That is the entire change, and it is the one the person on the other side will remember.
The one thing
The question "what do you need?" beats every other sentence in the guide, as long as you accept "nothing" as an answer.